Respecting the Child

“Children are human beings to whom respect is due, superior to us by reason of their innocence and of the greater possibilities of their future.” - Dr. Maria Montessori

If you have read about the Montessori method, heard some people talk about it and/or have enrolled your little one in a Montessori school, chances are you would have heard about Respecting the child.

Respect is an integral aspect of the method. It sounds amazing, but is it easy to respect a little someone? Many times, adults do not think, children can be respected or deserve respect. We often interrupt when a child is talking, or tell them to “be quite”; we tell (at times force) them into doing things they don’t want to; we don’t even ask their permission before hugging them; even ignoring them is disrespect.

In an authentic Montessori, from the time we greet the child in the morning to the time we say goodbye; we ensure the child is treated with respect. As a parent at home, or else where, you may also show the same respect to your child.

• Practice choice: Give children options which they can choose from, like “Would you want to wear the blue or the white shirt today?” or “Would you want dosa or chilla for snacks?”. It is best to give options rather than just asking “what would you like to eat or wear?” When you introduce your child to a family member, friends or acquaintance; don’t force them to hug them; you may ask if s/he’d like to hug XYZ
• Listen and be attentive when your child speaks to you. Children can understand when you are distracted. If you are engaged and need some time, tell them nicely. Ensure, you get back to them as promised. Even when your child is busy and you need them to do something, please wait till once they are less occupied.
• When you want them to do something explain to them why; please try and avoid saying “because I said so…"
• Sharing is definitely caring, but don’t force the child to share; you may tell them the importance of sharing, encourage them to share their personal things, but don’t force them to share.
• Manners we care: Children (and adults) who show basic manners are a pleasure to be with. We need to be a role model for a child, rather than just forcing or reminding them to say the ‘Magic words’

It’s obvious children will makes mistakes, even adults do. Don’t reprimand them for committing those. Chances are children wouldn’t have committed them intentionally. Like we can’t shout or hurt them when they make mistakes, we can’t make fun of them and laugh at them as well.

As adults we expect our children to respect us, have you given them the same respect back?