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Grace & Courtesy in a Montessori environment

If you have heard about the Montessori method of education, you must’ve heard about Grace & Courtesy. Some of you might have an idea about what actually is grace & courtesy all about; most of you might be wondering what exactly it is. 


When we meet prospective parents at Ayelet, when they tour the environment; one question always comes up around grace and courtesy, like; “How do these children work so quietly in the environment without disturbing others?” or “How do these children know how to wait for their turn?” 

At times, parents get intimidated, whether their child will be able to adjust in such an environment. As generally people expect 3-4-year-old children being loud and ones who don’t follow rules.


Frankly, we don’t have a magic wand which makes these little people behave like this. A lot of work and patience as well as consistency goes into this. 

As a Montessori House of Children, we at Ayelet, treat children with utmost respect, without seeing them as someone who is not ‘grown up’ enough to do certain things or behave in a particular way. When children are new to our environment, they take their time to adjust and become one with the environment. There are many things we need to take care of when we work with children in a Montessori classroom. 


You must’ve heard, ‘I hear, and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand’. We follow exactly that, in something called ‘modelling’. Children truly follow what they see others do in the environment. Grace and courtesy is like intentional modeling, all adults (teaching & non-teaching staff) need to be extremely careful about their behaviour in front of children. We cannot shout across the room if we want children to maintain a certain tone. We cannot run around, if we expect children to walk carefully around the mats. If we don’t expect children to disturb us when we are busy, we don’t disturb them, when they’re engrossed in a task or with a friend. It isn’t easy, it takes a lot of patience, perseverance and commitment.


Grace and courtesy lessons start every day with the guide smiling and greeting each child as they address him/her with their name, with a “Good Morning/Namaste XYZ. 

Grace and courtesy lessons are a favourite with children. These are important as we need to reinforce certain aspects of grace and courtesy with children. Lessons can be on introducing oneself, saying excuse me, what to do when we cough/sneeze, offering help, walking carefully around mats in the environment, getting the guide’s attention without interrupting, waiting for one’s turn, etc. 


One more advantage of multiage group environment is older children help us guides model behaviour as well as help us with the grace and courtesy presentations. Each child who becomes a part of the environment, receives the grace and courtesy presentations and slowly understands and respects them. 

These lessons are such an intrinsic part of a Montessori environment, they’re a hallmark of Montessori education. They help the child imbibe and understand the importance of social skills, which stay with them for life, it also helps them become confident and sure of themselves.

We’d like to leave you with something Dr. Montessori said on Grace & Courtesy: “A child who becomes a master of his/her acts through repeated exercises of grace and courtesy, and who has been encouraged by the pleasant and interesting activities in which s/he has been engaged, is a child filled with health and joy and remarkable for his/her calmness and discipline.”

 - Falak
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Location: 575, 16th Main Rd, Mico Layout, Stage 2, BTM 2nd Stage, Bengaluru, Karnataka 560076, India

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